Eden & Elle magazine September issue - Page 1 - Online magazine with fringe benefits. Spirituality, fascinating articles, tips and advice for today's women (& men!) together with breathtaking sensual photos of "everyday" women. Contents 3 4 6 8 14 16 17 26 28 30 32 33 Editors letter Ekaterina – Worldly woman Debra – Woman of loving Prosperity Monthly Interview – Tine Erotic Joy of the Month Tips for an even more beautiful you 97% Model of the Month – Tine! Steve – Coaching Life The Monthly Alternative Poetic thoughts and feelings of Readers Noticeboard The 5 most important words in your life Editors letter Dear Gals & Pals, Welcome to the September edition of Eden & Elle, the magazine which combines eye opening, true to the heart articles with timely information on a multitude of subjects, a revealing and in depth interview and features the 'everyday' woman – women of all shapes, size and ages in a photo shoot showing that they can look just as beautiful posing for a glamour photographer as the latest centerfold. Summer has almost gone, and with the new school year beginning a new issue of Eden & Elle magazine is brought to life. I have given careful thought and attention to the new layout that was promised to you in June and I trust you will be as delighted with it as I am! I would like to wish a very warm, happy and exciting welcome to all our new readers who subscribed during the summer and trust that you will enjoy Eden & Elle magazine, benefiting from the content like many other readers have done so already. There have been some changes in writers too, with Suz and Charissa not available for the autumn, though they will be contributing guest articles once in a while, thereby leaving room for new writers to make their entrance. The interview this month is different to what is usually given, but I am convinced that you will find this life story well worth the read. Tine, a woman who endures great pain on a daily basis yet lives her life with a huge smile on her face, lighting up each and every room she enters is one of great bravure, and she will definitely leave an imprint on your heart. Not only did she devote energy to giving the interview, Tine surprised everyone when she stepped in front of the camera for the 97% Model of the Month – the result is absolutely stunning! As always we have Debra who gives you insight concerning her trip to Tuscany, Steve on a physical matter, and Ekaterina shows us how to get fit without going to the gym! We invite you to read about how to bring about your desires in The Monthly Alternative and The Erotic Joy of the Month takes on the taboo of BBW and sex. I trust you will enjoy reading this issue as much as I have enjoyed making it. Enjoy! Yours warmly, Désirée Deul Chief Editor Ekaterina – Worldly Woman Ekaterina Petrovna left Russia when she was nineteen to discover the world and to study in her favourite language – French. Since then she has lived in four different countries and learned to speak four different languages. Her discovery of the world turned into a discovery of inner self and at this current moment, Ekaterina, apart from being a translator and interpreter, writes, studies Shamanism, Tarot and dances. Being happy and at size ten! At some point in my life I felt exactly like a heroine of shopaholic series of Sophie Kinsella. The young woman from the series once asked about what kind of sport she practiced answered that she walked a lot. In fact she did walk a lot but mostly when going shopping. For a year in Brussels I did practically the same. My budget didn’t allow me to actually buy all the things I wanted while on a visit to a shop, but checking the windows of the shops permitted me to keep my then size ten (38) without any effort whatsoever. I lived in the centre of my favourite city in the world and was walking at least for an hour every day just in order to look around. Now, being in Sheffield and at my parents house I realize to my horror that if I keep my current regime I will soon have to change all my wardrobe to size 14. Drastic changes are needed in order to revive both my spirit and shape. Combining sport and fun Actually I already started to get back to my old shape, but it cost me numerous bad visits to the gym, bad moods and quarrels with my parents. True, I will soon start living again on my own, but still my parents became quite tired of my complaints that we eat too late and too much. In the current world it has become a fashion to practice some kind of sport. Gyms are everywhere as well as athletic looking women and guys which remind us on a daily basis that we are too fat, too lazy, too ‘unsporty’ or too out of fashion when sport became a new form of being trendy. Yes, but what to do when you hate the gym and sports? This is my case. At some point of my life I overdid sport to such an extent that nowadays just the idea of visiting a gym puts me in a bad mood. The gym can be great fun when you actually like it. I did like it for five years, that was, until I started to hate it. When it happened I faced the same problem as now. I started to eat a lot while I stopped moving. Living at that time in Amsterdam I slowly watched my body becoming bigger while my spirit turned miserable. That period lasted for a year until I realized just like now that something has to be done. Yes, but with what to replace sport? Don’t like gyms? Look at bio-dancing! My first step was to walk more and to eat less, which is perhaps the best well-known diet for anyone who wants to improve his or her shape. This can be enough, but not quite enough for all those people who used to do a lot of sport but can’t face the gym any longer. I know quite a lot of such people. Gyms can become quite boring after a while. However, a lot of people who quit the gym don’t know where to look elsewhere. By pure curiosity I once went to look at the presentation of zouklove in one of the studios in Amsterdam. I fell in love immediately. This dance, which combines movements of salsa, lambada and samba and which is accompanied by beautiful music from Antilles rarely leaves anyone indifferent. A friend of mine whom I introduced to zouklove became a professional dancer after two years, she loves it so much. But zouklove is just an example. Actually at this moment in Europe it is only taught in the Netherlands, Belgium (on a much smaller basis) and London. But if not zouklove there are plenty of alternatives. There is bio-dance, called sometimes biodance or dance of four rhythms or body movement dance where you can dance as you want to with people who come to the classes to have real fun. There is, of course, salsa, tango and plenty other classes. The advantage of dancing is that apart from helping you to slim down it is a great way of socializing and meeting new people. You don’t get tired of it. Alternatives to the gym Other great ways to stay in good shape are running and yoga. Yoga, being four thousands old, is not sport. It’s a way of living, as you will notice after you have been practising it for some time. You will breath easily, become more flexible and will see that you mood is in general better. Running, often considered as one of the most difficult sports, is actually one of the easiest. You are not obliged to start immediately with kilometres of sprint, hiding from your neighbours because of red face and difficult breathing. If you start it gently, by combining running with walking you will for sure start to enjoy it. Even if I don’t run almost every day like I used to I go back to it especially in the summer as running boots your hormones of happiness. Good mood is guaranteed for the whole day long. Whatever is your condition, shape or dress size, there is always a way to find a gentle way to stay healthy and in a good mood. Look in your local newspaper or check the net for your town and you will surely find some activity, which will provide you with a good mood or the dress size of your dreams. Ekaterina can be reached via thoughts@edenandelle.com Debra – Woman of loving Prosperity Debra Schneider is a single mom with prosperity consciousness, is old enough to have wisdom and young and healthy enough to enjoy it. After having travelled extensively through Europe and The States, she now resides in New York State together with her daughter. Memoires of Tuscany As the sun filtered through the trees on the top of Overlook Mountain this morning, I reflected how the same sun caressed the vineyards and olive trees in Northern Tuscany where I had spent August with my daughter. I also recalled the last time I had climbed “my mountain” before our holiday. At that time I thought of whom I would be when this trip was a memory and I was once again back on the mountain. As a child I used to anticipate my vacations. I would live for them, sometimes counting the hours before I would be free from the grind of my daily life. Although I would change the scenery, life really wasn’t much different on holiday. I was still “super sensitive”. I was still too anxious to make friends to actually make them. My brother still picked on me and my parents still had little time for my needs. At some point, as I stood gazing over the lush, yet parched Tuscan countryside, I realized how much I live my life in regret over the past or fear of not getting the future right. How rare it was for me to be completely present. To breathe in the colors, feel the sounds, taste the texture of my life…. Just as that moment. Only that still, aromatic, scintillating moment. Even as I sit here to write this article I can rarely leave the past or the future. Will I get this article to Dee in time for her deadline? What time will my daughter be home from her outing so we can pack and get ready to go to the city tomorrow? I am even thinking of when we have to leave the city to avoid the traffic and get home in time. In time for what? For whatever thing I have to do in the future… While a month in Tuscany is certainly a wonderful way to spend the summer, I ponder how much of it I actually experienced. I can recall certain moments, at the beach, on a boat in Cinque Terre, gazing at David in Florence or Moses in Rome. I can recall these moments because I actually thought at the time that these are moments I want to remember. What a funny thought. Planning to live in the past. They say change can only happen when you become aware of what you want to change. I think the only way I can live my life is to be aware of where I am in each moment. The painful moments pass, the joyful moments pass, the only moments that don’t pass are those that we are living. And without regret or fear, the present is as exciting or dull as the attention we bring to it. I will certainly make plans to return to Italy. But I will also make sure I pay attention to the details of the life I am currently engaged in. Debra can be reached via thoughts@edenandelle.com September Interview This interview is a little different to what you are used to reading in Eden & Elle magazine. During our summer stop we met an incredible woman named Tine. She is vibrant, gorgeous, but she also has a disease named fibromyalgia or possibly better known as fibrositis. Little is known about this condition, except that it is very difficult to diagnose affecting the muscles and joints, usually occurs in adults over the age of 30, and happens primarily to women, though cases in men and children have also been documented. This is her story. E&E: You have fibromyalgia, what exactly does this disease entail? Tine: Fibromyalgia has several names, such as muscular rheumatism or weak joints disease. That is to say that my muscles and joints are inflamed very easily and hurt an awful lot. This disease exists in different levels, some people are still in the early stages when they diagnose the disease, not so in my case. 7 years ago, I had a serious car accident. A woman hit my car while driving 60 mph. I was taken to hospital and there the doctors diagnosed me with whiplash. They sent me home the same evening. I was told to take a couple days of rest and that after about three or so weeks I would be cured. The timing was very bad as I had just opened my own beauty salon and due to the immense pain I had to close it. The doctor also found that my pains had not improved and therefore sent me to the Multidisciplinary Pain Center in Leuven (Belgium). The first thing I was told was that nobody could cure me, they were only able to alleviate the pain. However, I felt good in this department and was happy with the way I was treated there by the nurses and doctors, they were really fantastic. I was given different types of medication, even medicine specially imported from Portugal and Spain but nothing helped. The doctors even gave me a sort of medicinal soluble cocktail to be given via injections and for four years, every two weeks I had to go to Leuven for this. These injections are small needles that are injected into your most painful areas. I received 15 injections each time, every two weeks in my lower back, back, shoulders, neck and head. The doctors did their utmost best to find out what was really wrong with me, but I was exhausted, tired of the injections and wanted to give up. They were very painful and ultimately helped no more. After 4 years new tests were done and finally I received an answer concerning my deteriorating body, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I broke down as I had already heard of the disease but was simultaneously relieved that they had found something. After 4 years, I had come to think it was all in my mind, that I was just being petty and childish, because they could not find anything, now there was finally a diagnosis. In the meantime the doctors had given me new medication, namely morphine. I was 28 years old and had been sick for four years when the doctors advised me to have a morphine pump as an easier solution for taking the morphine, since the pills were no longer strong enough, but I was already non reactive to all other forms of medication that the doctors had prescribed so far, and my thoughts were very wary of what would happen when there came a point in my life that even heavy medication like morphine would no longer help. E&E: You also have chronic fatigue syndrome and VS and Chronic hyperventilation syndrome, are they the result of the fibromyalgia or are they separate diseases? Tine: These diseases have indeed come forth from the fibromyalgia. I always had terrible pain and then the heavy fatigue emerged. Sometimes I have days that I am not able to get out of my bed and that I can sleep for a few days. My husband is as much the victim of all this as I am and I am glad that I have him with me. The days I have great trouble getting out of bed, he helps me bathe, to get in and out of the bath, helps me dress, and helps me get to bed at night. The chronic hyperventilation syndrome is connected together with the chronic fatigue syndrome. My breathing is totally incorrect, essentially I hyperventilate constantly without anyone even noticing, I also have regular panic attacks. These are terrible attacks, I am afraid of everything around me and know my surroundings know that the best is what they can do, call the doctor. He gives me a sedative to calm me down and relax me. My general practitioner is one of the dearest people I know, I've had a special bond with him, he knows my problems and BELIEVES me! There are few doctors and people who believe in the disease, the diseases are still not recognized. My fellow-sufferers and I are mostly frowned upon, thought of as being lazy, of taking advantage of the healthcare system, while these are serious diseases and should be taken as such. We often remain isolated, for many think we are acting up, but honestly, doctors will not give a morphine pump to just anyone, nor will they give someone 15 injections every two weeks if the matter is not serious! E&E: The pain in your knees and back, do they have to do with your disease or is this something that is separate? Tine: Indirectly they have to do with my illnesses because I have a lot of pain, I have a bad posture. I was in the hospital on the 11th of May this year and as I had had quite a lot of strain and pain in my knees the last few weeks I asked for an additional RX scan from the particular specialist. The scan showed that the cartilage from under my knee was torn and had moved from underneath it. My specialist wanted to consult an orthopedist for a possible operation. Unfortunately, he told me that an operation would not improve the pain because I would have congenital abnormalities, so he suggested to me that I take medication for the pain, as long as possible in order for my knees to sustain themselves and several years from now to place prosthetics. Throughout the years of pain in my back has actually done the same, the cartilage between my vertebrae has disappeared. On a bone scan one can clearly see that there is nothing between the intervertebral disks hence they are loose and so I have a hernia in my back. Actually, it is necessary to put prostheses between my vertebrae in certain places but the orthopedist is not too keen on doing so. There is just a little under 10 years of research concerning these prostheses and he feels this is not long enough. He would first like to know how long such a prosthetic can last and whether they subsequently still can repaired or re-implanted because if that is not the case, then the possible problems are incalculable. Hopefully there will soon be clarity on this because sometimes the pain is unbearable and these moments presented themselves over six months ago. E&E: Also you have to cope with very severe headaches, why is this? Tine: Due to the pain that radiates from my back and neck especially, my head is also responsible for severe pains. I've already had all kinds of headaches but my last brain scan showed that I also have 'the huch headache' otherwise known as suicidal headaches. The word suicidal being the key word, these pains have caused several people to commit suicide. These pains are really intense and nothing helps. I have these attacks often and then I have to lie down in a dark room, cannot tolerate any sound or light, and crawl around on hands and knees for I can't bear to stand up. Several times I have banged with my head against the wall in an attempt to make the pain go away but off course that does not help. The feeling is like a major pressure on your head that you cannot really describe. I often have had bleeding wounds on my forehead and people tell me: it's stupid, that that hurts even more but you are in such a bad state that you try everything that may help to avoid the pain. Honestly, I'd rather have the pain of the wounds that numb the headaches than not. At that point only the doctor can help me, we have his personal number, phone number and email address, because he knows what can happen, and he comes over to give me an injection which he will then have to repeat every day until my pain subsides a little and I can continue with my normal daily medication. E&E: What kind of medication do you take for all this ? Is there medication that really helps? Tine: For Chronis fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia there is no medication. Patients will also never heal. In my case each year has gotten worse and so I take a lot of symptomatic medications. For example, a pill to prevent and combat headaches, muscle relaxants, sleeping pills, because I cannot sleep, I'm too tired to sleep, and many other types of medication. I also have to take opium derivates three times a day and at this moment I take 145.5 pills or different types of medication per week, and I still have a lot of terrible pain. Due to the medication and the pain I also have difficulty eating and the doctor keeps a sharp look out where my weight is concerned. Now I weigh about 50 kilograms but that can change almost overnight so that I weigh 48 kgs tomorrow. I have to try to remain over 50 kg otherwise I feel too weak and I will have to be admitted to hospital to receive nutrients and such via a drip. Some people can suppress their pains with a magnesium drip per month and I am extremely pleased that these people can be helped, which I mean from the bottom of my heart. Two times per year for a week or more, I go to the hospital and I receive a cocktail of magnesium and other vitamins, approximately 8 liters in 7 days via a drip. But my veins get infected really quickly which causes other problems. My husband once asked my specialists what exactly went into these cocktail drips, their answer was' a lot of professional cyclists would be very envious of what Tine receives into her veins. And I thought 'HaHa, at least something that I have which someone could be jealous of'. But these cocktails only help me for a couple of days and the moment I am taken of the drip, I begin to feel weak and sick again as my immune system is barely functional. With each cold I have to go straight to my doctor because it can immediately turn into pneumonia and that is again always a step backward that I can no longer overtake. E&E: What is the prognosis of the doctors regarding your health? How do you deal with this? Tine: My specialist, Dr Paul Van Sanden, tells me with each visit, 'I can work miracles every day with anyone but unfortunately not with you'. That always gives me goosebumps, why not me?? He told me about 10% of patients improve within seven years, and I was hoping to be one of them and did therefore everything he asked, medication, rehabilitation, etc. In May this year he came to me and told me that the hope I have to get better was nice but to give up hoping. I admire that man for his honesty, he is a wonderful doctor. The nurses that work with him, Gitte and Inge, have become more friends than just nurses doing their job to me. In May I also went to see a neurologist, and they found the suicidal headaches and her prognosis was described in one word – hopeless. During that visit, I received several emotional blows and I have seen my future, a future in a wheelchair, in bed and with my terrible pains that I will never recover from. E&E: Despite the daily fatigue and pain you are very cheerful and you are always ready to help others, where you get your emotional energy from in your life? Tine: I've always been someone who put themselves last in favor of others, I think that is a specific trait of mine. I now have very little energy and I feel guilty towards everybody. Previously I could help everyone and that is now not possible and it gives me a very strange feeling. So if I now have a slightly better day I prefer to use that day to help someone, what does not matter. My doctors are against me doing so, and are quite upset with me since I should take one day at a time and on good days, not overdo it. Especially my psychologist is repeatedly disappointed because I do not listen to them. I know that I should listen as its for my own good but instead on a better day I start cleaning the house etc. and of course that behavior comes back at me in full force, and I am again a step backward that I can no longer catch up. The emotional energy? That I get from my 2 children, Lisa is 7 and Lucas was 4. They are so incredibly sweet and nice to me. They treat me like a queen! If I am lying down on the couch, I can feel that a blanket is drawn over me and how a drink is set down next to me. I am extremely pleased with my children. When Lisa was born, I hadn't had my accident yet, but with Lucas I was already sick. For two years after I got sick, the yearning for a second child was still great and I had to try my utmost best to convince the specialists to let me get pregnant. After six months my husband and I were finally informed that the doctors would consent on the condition that I would rest as much as possible. The doctor said "We see that your desire to have another child is still great, do it now, because otherwise it will be too late' It meant being bedridden from my 15th week of pregnancy, but I did it with love for my little prince and knowing what I know today, I would still do the same. I had a lot of pain during pregnancy but once your baby is safely in your arms then you quickly forget. E&E: Can you tell me about your background, your studies and your work? Tine: I am the daughter of wonderful parents, my mum no longer works because of health reasons but my dad is still selfemployed. My parents who both have worked extremely hard, for being self employed one must be a dedicated and hard worker or you cannot get ahead. I have a brother, Kris and he is 28, he works as a cook in a nursing home. After I graduated from High School I began my studies to become a midwife. In retrospect, I didn't take a good enough look at what the job entailed, and during an internship at the end of my 2nd year at school, I had to help with a very difficult childbirth. The risk for both mother and child was huge, fortunately they both made it but then I started thinking and continued to dwell on the fact that I myself may have to deal with such a child birth by myself. In the case of twins or triplets, I would have four lives that were in my hands and there was a possibility that the obstetrician would be too late and I'd have to do the delivery all by myself and I realized that I wouldn't be able to cope with such a responsibility. I was very unsure of myself and I had (and have) little self confidence. This is also the reason why I agreed to do the photo session, to boost my self confidence. Just before my exams I stopped studying and now I understand why when my parents were disappointed in me. The day after I quit, I registered with the unemployment office. It was not long before I got an offer, and I had an interview the next day, I didn't even know with which company it was. Once I got there, it turned out to be work at McDonalds. I took the job and was happy that I could earn my own money, as I refused to live off my parents, didn't feel right about doing so. It was a nice job, I worked there for two 2 years and I still enjoy the food there! I was very happy at that time and went to night school to study as a beautician. It made perfect sense as my husband is a hairdresser and it was ideal for the both of us to open a business together. We saw it as a dream come true, he working as a hairdresser, and I working as a beautician doing manicures, pedicures, etc. We invested heavily in my side of the business and everything was falling into place, my business was doing well. I opened my end of the business in December 2000, but with the accident, and the consequences of it, on the 19th September 2001 I had to close down. I loved my work immensely, but unfortunately I cannot do it anymore. E&E: What are your dreams in your life and how do you see them becoming a reality? Tine: I want to heal but so far there is still no miracle that can help me. I would still want to achieve so many things, I would like to return to the old me, so I can do the cleaning, cooking, etc. for my children. The things that a 'normal' mother and wife can do. I also know that this will not happen but I still do my best. What I certainly want is to see my children grow up and hope that there will ever give me grandchildren. How I wish all this is simple to implement, I need the determination and willpower to succeed and need a lot of help in doing so. E&E: What would you like to say to others who also have one or more of these diseases? Tine: Actually I would like to tell everyone, be strong and stand tall because they are hard times. Ensure that you have much support and can trust your family and friends. I've experienced it myself where the saying "in distress knows his friends' for not many friends where left of the large group I once had. And make sure you have a doctor who you know believes you and you can trust and that can assist in everything. I have a great general practitioner, specialist and psychologist and physical therapist. I know that they believe me and that they understand when I call, to say that I cannot come. These people know of my illnesses, are aware of everything but you MUST trust them. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Dr. Jan Herregods, Dr Paul Van Sanden and his assistants, Gitte and Inge, Ineke Van Baelen and Yannick Tobbackx for everything they have done for me. Also, try to understand everything yourself, that's probably the most important thing you should do, accept that you have these diseases, and be at peace with them. I myself am not yet there, I still cannot accept that I have these diseases and that I will never heal. Try to remind yourself to take it very easy and accept that you must do so. My motto in recent years? CARPE DIEM…. .
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